Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
And as I feel Voronok start to like bring the knife even closer, I let go of all my weight off my feet and just drop.
And as I drop, I grab my dwarven thrower and throw it as best I can towards that glowing skull on that belt.
You see Shangalar up by the throne and he kind of waves his hand and the shadows around you go away.
And it lets loose the whole cathedral around you.
And there are these winged creatures high up in the rafters and these demonic monsters.
And they all begin rushing down towards you.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
He, him.
Also with me today is Tom Lair.
He, him.
And I am playing Flint Firebeard.
Also he, him.
Are you playing at this point?
Are you playing Flint Firebeard?
I'm playing in spirit, yes.
No, not in spirit, in body.
Not even in spirit.
I don't think Tom knows what in spirit means.
I'm playing him in spirit.
He is in the body.
He is playing Borg.
It's through players.
Also with us tonight is Amy More.
I am here.
I am playing Thea Amastasia.
She, her.
And Night Hunter.
She, they.
And also I have a cold.
So, you know, it's from all the pink dust.
Smoke.
The pink dust smoke.
That's right.
And Carla Max dead.
She, her.
Playing Lip Sinky Pip Diggins.
Also just this air isn't agreeing with me down here.
Which is weird because I've spent so much time down here.
You'd think it'd be fine.
But, yeah.
Oh, did I say Lip Sinky?
Also she, her.
And Kyle Glassett.
Hey everyone.
He, him.
I too am B being here today.
And glad to be doing so as Voronoks.
That was great.
Also he, him.
You know, I feel like we nailed it.
Like this is how it should have been the whole time.
I think that was a 10 out of 10.
It was. It was good.
Hey, this is, you know, a big long battle we're in.
And thank you for being here with us.
It's been 800 years since we've started recording this podcast.
And maybe we get near, near a big, big dramatic moment.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
We record this before the episode.
So who knows what will happen.
Yeah, we could really shit the bed on this.
We don't know.
We could.
It's entirely possible.
It's true.
But just because the, the Orchis battle is happening doesn't mean the fun is over.
You can come join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
where we have whole other stories over there that are much lighter than the tone we're bringing today.
Yeah, it's only like 2% Orchis.
2%.
It just kind of sneaks in.
It's like, Hey, it's there.
It's like, it's like that episode was packed in a facility where Orchis was also packed.
So it's just trace amounts of Orchis.
Just may contains.
And when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron and Garen Kierzen.
Oh my goodness.
Thanks Garen.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
So much.
Thank you very much.
I hope I didn't completely butcher your name.
I tried to look it up.
Well, if you did, then we all did.
Yeah.
And call us out on it in the Discord.
Totally free.
Names are super important.
I want us to.
And also like what an episode to have dedicated to you.
He knows what's going to happen.
This could be a big one.
That's what we're going to say until it finally ends.
This could be the big one.
No, this could be the big one.
We managed to just keep clinging on though.
So we'll see how it works.
Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And now fuck it.
Let's play.
The darkness lifts in this cathedral around you.
And you see that you're surrounded by demons
and beings coming up out of the earth
as they all begin to rush down towards you
in the center of Orcus' throne room.
Thea, you're up on Guacamole.
You're making your way towards this pink swirling mist
up in this acrid air around you.
And as you hit it, you take in a deep breath.
And you feel this coolness wash over you.
You feel a power rising within you.
And then you black out.
Everybody else you see Thea begin to slump off of
Guacamole's back.
Guacamole continues forward, but then
starts to arc around as Thea is falling down.
Demons are rushing down towards you
and begin overwhelming you.
Bort and Grancis and Nighthunter,
you're crashed into.
And like, you begin with this wave
rushing you back towards the door to the throne room.
Away from the battle itself.
Vorunax and Lipsenki, you two were standing together
and you hear this lumbering footstep come towards you.
And as you two are hit by this wave,
two large hands clap together
and this sonic boom echoes down towards you.
Make a constitution saving throw, please.
Lipsenki, don't forget you get a plus four
for being near me.
Right, so 14?
And that's a 24 for me.
Both of you fall to the ground.
Vorunax, you're still conscious.
Lipsenki, you black out.
And Vorunax, you see a large hand
reaching down towards you and grabbing hold of you.
And as well, the other hand grabs hold of Lipsenki.
You feel it crushing your chest
and crushing the bones inside of you.
As Orcus lifts, he carries the two of you
back behind the throne.
Thea, you continue to fall.
Make a dexterity check
using your stats for Guacamole.
Using my stats for Guac?
Okay.
How about a 21?
I rolled an 18.
Right as you're about to hit the ground,
Guacamole sneaks underneath you.
And catches you.
You kind of come to in this blurry state
and then pass out again as Guacamole
rushes off towards the others
who were separated from the group
and back out the main throne room front doors.
Thea, Bort, Grancis, and Nighthunter,
you exit out into this long hallway
that you entered in with Vorunax.
And there are demons rushing out
and crashing out behind you
and it's like this wave that rolls up the wall
and continues to follow you.
Ahead of you, you see the hallway
that leads back out the front entrance.
You see two spiral staircases,
one going up and one going down.
You see Vorunax's office as you're running out.
You see Alcove's where there are figures
dismembered and put up on display
with these weapons
that are glowing,
stuck into various parts of them.
What do you do?
Can I roll
something like, I don't know,
history or religion or something
that might tell me what's up with these glowing weapons?
Yep, you can.
History would probably give you the broadest sense.
Okay.
That is a 19.
You see as you're running
everything's moving by quickly.
The first two you catch out of the corner of your eye
you don't get a lot of information on
how things are going so fast.
The next four you're able to garner more information from
and you see what looks like
ruined monument
behind these figures,
two different gods.
The figures themselves appear to be
well adorned in armor.
You catch insignias
of the various gods and you can presume
these are pAlydins or clerics
devout to their god.
The four that you recognize are
Bain, Selun,
Dinier,
and Malar.
The weapons themselves appear to be bestowed
you could presume with powers of those gods.
Can you grab one of those
as you're going by?
I think the weapons will be imbued
with the powers of the gods they're attached to.
Extra special weapons? I got this.
And I want to pull a couple off as I run.
You can make an athletics
or acro...no, probably sliding.
Damn it.
It was going to be a plus ten.
Oh my god, another 18, 22.
You did.
You are trying to grab...
Okay, try and grab the first one. Roll a d4, please.
Alright, I'm going to do it.
Two.
You reach for the ruined altar
to Selun.
You grab this
glowing white sickle that
reefs out of the chest of this
female pAlydin. Cool.
Night Hunter takes the sickle out of
the female pAlydin's body with
the tearing sound of her flesh.
She's not being gentle about it.
You're going to try and grab one more? Yeah.
Oh, it's a Nat 20.
I'm wasting them all.
I think with a Nat 20, whichever one you want
is the one that you want. I know.
So can you tell me what I see? Okay.
Everything slows down around you. You're able to walk around the space.
Obviously, you can only grab one, but you're able to walk around the space.
Of course, flash style.
You see at the altar to
there is this
crumpled figure who's had its
head caved in by this
mace that is glowing with this
gray, almost like oozing this gray light around it.
Gray light, okay. Next.
There is
a crashing wave
that seems to be moving perpetually around this
figure, and there's a trident
that's like stuck through this one
figure at the altar to Malar.
And in the final one that you can see,
because the other two are overtaken,
there is a
long chain that is hanging up this pAlydin.
This is at the altar to Dinier.
This chain is glowing in a
bright golden yellow.
I mean, golden yellow
with a horde of darkness chasing us might be a fun
one. That was my thought.
I think what
Night Hunter is thinking of the versatility of this.
You wrap this chain around your hand, you can give yourself a real good punch.
Maybe it will be special and be able to tie Orcus up.
Who knows? So she rips the chain down.
Do I drag the dead body along with it?
It's all happening very fast.
Very fast and it's around the neck of the...
I will drag that corpse for a while until it probably
falls apart through the jostling
and the running.
So it's going to be gross, but Night Hunter really doesn't care.
Time speeds up as you grab the sickle
and then the chain and the body falls down
as you grab the sickle.
You feel it go lighter
as behind you
at your heels are all of these
demons trampling
as close as they can get
and destroy this body beneath you.
You have those two weapons.
Of the directions that I gave you, stairway up, stairway down
at the front, Vorunax's office.
Where do you choose to go?
Do we know if his office also doubles as a panic room?
Yeah, but we don't want to get surrounded in a panic room either.
Oh, well that is problematic.
That makes me panic.
I don't think Night Hunter is much of a planner, so she's running.
I mean, you want the high ground, right?
As a fighter?
So I think up the stairs.
Yeah. Let's go upstairs.
All of you followed by Thea on guacamole
head towards the staircase and begin your ascent
up Orcus's tower.
We cut to a large
bone-carved door
that bursts open
and makes this reverberating boom
into this smaller chamber.
We see Orcus enter
with Lipsenki and Vorunax in his hand
and he quickly throws Lipsenki down into this cage.
Not again.
Lipsenki, you're going to take
10 bludgeoning damage.
Cool.
That blow startles you awake as you see and hear
a loud door close behind you
and there's a locking mechanism that goes.
You don't see what happens, but you hear it.
Vorunax, he puts you down
in the center of this room. There is
something very familiar to you. Are runes all around it.
It's a sacrificial altar.
He puts you down
not gently
and begins to pace around the room
circling you like prey.
Did you really think you were going to get away
with this?
I wasn't going to lay around
and not try after what I learned.
So what's your play now?
Well, I'm going to
trust the abilities
of my new found companions
and I'll trust that they will
take care of what I may not be able to
in this moment.
Strike me down if you will. There's others out there.
They're going to come for you.
Your lies, your deception
will all come to an end.
You've died before.
I've read the texts.
You'll die again.
I am prepared this time.
And at that you hear this
loud clunk
in echoing from the walls
and you see out of the corner of your eye
this glowing orange
light. It's rolling down this
this track along the wall.
It's not a perfectly
circular object. It's kind of clunking along
and it comes to a stop right behind Orcus
and it bumps into
two others. There are three more
skulls
along the back wall and he turns
away from you and begins to move towards them
and reaches up to them. When he turns away
I'm going to cast Synaptic Static
and he needs to make an intelligent save of 20.
Well, that's a 13.
But
I think he chooses
to succeed in this moment.
He will still take 10 psychic damage.
Yeah, take that. Yeah, that must be
annoying as hell. Oh, the worst.
A little headache. I want to cast Etherealness
which allows me to step into the
Ethereal plane and move at half
my normal distance. But the things
in this plane won't affect me so I can escape
my cage. Hell yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
That happens.
What do you do? Where do you go?
So I am going to walk out of my cage.
What else do I see in this room?
You see the track system
with the three more skulls.
It's relatively bare room. It's not like
he's a necessarily
beholden to a lot of library type material.
There are shelves but
there's nothing of major importance at first
at quick glance. There are a few books
but really nothing that stands out
as greatly important. There are several
tapestries all of which have
grotesque imagery of
Orcus and his various conquests and
battles. There's the main
door that you
presumably entered because you were unconscious when you came in
but there's a large door which is still cracked open.
Beyond it you can't
really see too much. It's
very darkly lit. Not like a big
chaise long I can hide behind.
Yeah, sure.
Maybe not a chaise long but
there's a couple rows
of pews around the perimeter.
Some close to Orcus and then some on the opposite
side of the room. Okay, well I don't
think because I can't move very far
I probably can't get to the opposite side of the room
and seeing that Vorunax is not in immediate
danger aside from
obviously the overwhelming immediate danger we are all in.
I'm going to get out of my cage
and hide behind
a pew but when
I come back to this plane I want to
especially since Orcus has turned away
doing a skull light up business.
It's like a light break situation.
He's making a train pattern. It's adorable.
Make sure that Vorunax sees
that I am out of here
or that I am out of the cage.
I'm coming out of my cage. I'm doing just fine.
Obviously, yeah. Ready to do something but honestly
Lipsankey's not entirely sure
what to do.
But out of the cage waiting to help Vorunax
in whatever way she can.
Did you wanted to try and signal to Vorunax
that you were out or you just want to be there
and hope that he noticed?
I do feel like Vorunax given the relationship
and how quickly he's tried to adapt to liking
Lipsankey is probably keeping an eye
on Lipsankey and would just see Lipsankey disappear.
You've probably kind of got your head on a swivel a little bit
to see me when I come back and then
hilariously duck behind a pew when Orcus
starts to turn around.
You definitely see that Lipsankey
has disappeared and
perhaps see her pigtails sticking up over the pew
just for a brief moment before Orcus turns back
and duck back down.
Orcus grabs hold of these skulls
and is placing them on his belt and he grabs
the final one so now there are none left on the wall.
It's this blinding white light
that he's kind of just swirling around
inside of it like a fine wine.
That power is bound to be finite
and even if it's not
you're going to create an existence that bores you.
You'll find no joy
in the future you're creating.
You'll find no pleasure
and you'll want to die
when you claim you can't
and who will be able to end it for you?
Certainly the great Orcus wouldn't end it for himself.
That's not befitting an ending of
the god of the undead.
So why are you removing the challenges from your life?
I see where you lost your way
is that you care too much
for which ends up down here
for that which becomes my army.
Having heard what is in store
for the world
what I, a different I
had helped achieve for you
and knowing where
the ones that I've loved in the past went because of you
and that I was doing that to more people
in your name sickened me.
You are weak.
You may see it as weakness
but who else stands before a demon lord
and tells them to go fuck themselves?
You hear in his hand
the glass begin to
crack in the skull that he's holding
and the light grows brighter.
You will suffer
before you join me.
I don't think I will.
I had no pleasure out of my death
or my service knowing that a mere mortal
looked you in the eye
and turned away your favor.
He, with speed that you
haven't seen him use ever before
reaches down
and grabs you by the left hand
with his other hand slashes
your arm and you hear it
crumple beneath his hand.
Your shoulder is hanging
by tendons as he shakes you down
to the ground.
Holding your hand
he puts it into his mouth and crunches it.
Your perception
of what I find enjoyable
is laughable, Voronox.
You'd think having spent so much time
following in my footsteps, doing my bidding,
finding people like Lipsinki.
He looks back to the cage.
She has tricks.
I wasn't lying about her being good.
At least not in the righteous sense.
She begins to look around the room.
Lipsinki, do you do anything?
I think Lipsinki's had enough of this nonsense.
Because it's some real nonsense
when your only friend in the world's arm gets eaten
by the one you used to serve.
Most people don't get to say that.
It's not cool is the thing.
I think Lipsinki's going to stand up.
I think you're so amazing.
But I was there.
You couldn't have done anything without him.
You won't even be able to take over the world now
because he's not on your side.
So you are vastly overestimating
how powerful you are.
And also, that was disgusting.
And I'm going to cast my very best spell that I've got.
Is it catnap?
Shit, Tom's funny when he's stressed out
because we're all going to die.
It's too much otherwise.
In all that middle
we're going to talk about
Patreon
and how you can join us
at our live show at the end of June.
It just felt right.
It took a long time to get into, but we found it.
We're in the middle and thank you for being here.
First off, we love you.
Starting strong.
And we appreciate you being here and listening to this
circus battle that has now begun
and continues and will continue for a good while.
Don't worry about it.
Who knows? We don't know.
We play these live to air.
So we don't even know what's going to happen
in the rest of this episode even.
That's actually probably true.
We've completely forgotten what is happening.
We have another live show coming up
for patrons exclusively.
Last one was a blast.
It will never be released
to the public feed
for various reasons.
First, there are slight tech issues.
Second, teeth monsters.
Sort of like moral
ethical issues we can't release it to the public.
Knowing what kind of nightmare fuel you put out
just really makes you take a pause.
The moral of the story is these take turns.
Sometimes we release them and sometimes we don't.
So the only way to make sure that you hear them all is to be there.
With us.
I like this. Appointment listening.
Plus if you're there, then we get to hear your great jokes.
And then hear them when we say them.
And then take them.
They're so good that it's really difficult to choose.
So June 27th at 7pm Pacific, 10pm Eastern,
the show last time,
I think it was about an hour and a half,
we had a little hangout couple questions
which was more just clarification of why is Russ's mind so messed up.
I think was the takeaway there.
There were no answers.
That came literally off the dome
and now just lives in the world.
Just apologizing for it.
Day after day.
And we hope to see you over there at the live show.
June 27th.
Okay. Somebody send them back to the episode.
Oh wow.
Excuse me wonderful person.
I feel like we're getting them to go.
Like Air Buds style.
I don't want to care about you anymore.
Just leave.
I'm going to cast Psychic Scream.
I unleash the power of my mind
to blast the intellect of up to 10 creatures of my choice.
But let's say just this big old bastard in front of me.
He needs to make an intelligent saving throw.
I'm going to give one chance
to reconsider using your absolute best spell.
It's alright.
It's what she would do.
She's only here for Vorunax and Vorunax is getting eaten.
So she's not going to say, well he's probably got a lip.
I should really plan this out a little better.
Yep. No plans for lip.
So Orcus roll a natural 20
plus five.
So that's a 25.
But you'd already committed to using his legendary action, right?
He does still take half the damage.
Love it.
So that is, he will take
It's 14d6 psychic damage.
But it will be half of that.
That's not nothing.
All sixes.
We want 42 points of damage.
So that was 50.
So 25.
And then probably after I do that, I'm going to run towards Vorunax
to try and get him off the altar.
Hoping that that caused like a slight pause.
He
lets out this scream that shakes the wall.
You charge forward to
make your way to Vorunax.
And as this is happening,
you hear from somewhere deep down
like this
something's breaking through the walls
and this box flies through the door
bursts into the room
lands on the floor between you and Orcus
and written on the top of the box
in this quickly scrawled writing
is do not open this box song kitty.
And we cut back up
to the top of the tower.
You have all made it up to this
watchtower area.
The last of you quickly
bursts up through the door and slams it shut.
You're all piled on top of it
as the weight of all of these demons behind
are like cresting it up.
We gotta find a way to close that door.
Keep it closed.
I prepped all my big, big danger spells.
Give me a second.
Yeah, okay. Okay, give me a sec. Hold it down.
Hold it down.
Grants us puts his hands over the door
and over where the lock would go.
There's this glow, this bright blue glow
that comes from his hands.
The lock begins to emanate
from his hands.
The door bursts up one more time and then slams down
and fuses shut in that location
and the wood begins to bow, but the door does not open.
You quickly look around you and there are
four windows,
open windows essentially,
that look out over the abyssal landscape.
You see this...
this sickening storm cloud basically
everywhere around you. There's this cracking
lightning. The acrid smell is
permeating through the air.
You hear the moans of creatures
coming across the plain towards the castle
before you, climbing up the wall.
Is Thea still passed out?
Make a constitutional saving throw.
Oh my god, guys, it's the other 18.
Oh my god. What's happening? 22.
Your shoulders must be so tired, Amy.
The finale arc.
The guacamole slides Thea
off onto the ground and is
bumping at her and Thea begins
to come to. You're not back to a hundred percent,
but you are conscious or becoming
conscious. So that didn't
go as planned. No, it did not
go well. Anybody see where they took
Vorunax and Lipsankey?
No, got swept out by all that
lovely stuff. Oh, fuck.
Where are we?
Looks like we're like right above
the main tower.
I see where we came up through the streets there.
Looks like they're mobilizing.
All those guys we, you know, who Vorunax was like,
yeah, I'm the boss. Don't question me.
They're all down there now. Like, I think the jig
is up. Right, right.
I've never been up this high.
I see there's the crypts down
there. I've been down there. You look
across the courtyard and there is rows and rows
of crypts. Like almost like
housing. These tall, tall crypts
like stretch high. Dozens of
stories high. Down beneath those
that's where they keep all the prisoners.
You talk to them when you were there?
I mean, I thought so. Did they like
Orcus? Big fan? Prisoners?
The ones that they're torturing over and over again,
killing time and time again until the end of
time itself? Well, yeah,
sometimes Stockholm syndrome and they end up,
it's okay. There's this one broad named Belle. She seemed
to really like it down there. But
everybody else, everybody else was pretty upset.
Well, perhaps jailbreak. We have
nobody here to help us.
Lipsinki, Vorunax,
let us say they are dead now.
So we need reinforcements.
Okay.
Great. So we just need to get down to the
crypts? How about you, Bort,
you got anything that can whip up some
magic?
I was looking for a better route.
You got anything to whip up some magic? I wish I did.
Not really sure if I can whip any
magic up.
Yeah, I don't know about this one.
I mean, I can make us all fly.
I don't like the looks of those things coming over
the horizon there though. You look out and there's these
hideous like, they've got these long
like elephant walrus
like snouts that are just dripping this black
ichor and these huge flapping wings.
These skeletal long whale-like bodies.
Well, maybe if we go fast.
Okay.
Do we, do we all
want to go? Is it safer if one
goes? We could test who
wants to go. Francis puts his finger to his nose.
Okay, we all
go. Okay, well it's either that or
some of us stay here with those demons that
that door, as much as it's held, it's wood.
It's the one thing in this entire place that was
described as wood. Everything else was bone or stone.
Some fucker decided that this one was wood.
That's true. Okay.
Alright, well, I've got guacamole. If you want to make
some of us fly and let's
let's get down there. Maybe you can
rekindle some old friendships.
Like Night Hunter said and maybe we could get our own
army. Thea, as you stand up
and you're redressing the group
you feel that same warmth wash
over your body again that you were
that you felt when you entered the pink dust.
And you feel
a rejuvenation over you. You gain
100 temporary hit points.
Woo!
Dang.
That's for sure what she'd say.
You gain one use of the spell
Water Breathing
at whatever level it needs to be cast at
to be effective. And one
use of the spell Earthquake
at 9th level. Oh.
Well then. Oh, you guys.
I feel good.
Well good. You had a little nap there.
It wasn't a nap. I flew into the
pink dust and then the rest is
a little hazy.
Which god?
I just hear you talking at me.
Thanks for saying.
Alright, let's go.
Thea mounts guacamole and is waiting for everyone
to take off at the same time because I don't want to be
separated from the group. So guacamole could in theory
take two, right? Yeah.
Okay, so who do you take on guacamole's back?
Thea looks around and is just kind of
thinking about, you know,
he's gonna cast fly.
There's gonna be, she looks at Night Hunter and is just like
do you wanna ride on
the big bird? Yes, I could ride on bird.
I do not think flying myself would be a good idea.
What would I do with Thea's? And she holds up the chain
and the sickle that she still has in her hand.
Oh, yeah. Those look pretty cool.
Um, alright.
He moves over to Bort and you feel
like you kind of lift off the ground.
He's like, you know, think. I can fly.
I can go higher than
the sky around you. I mean, do
you have to sing?
You do, actually, yes. In order to propel
yourself forward, you have to really feel
the vibe. Alright, alright, alright.
I just wanna fly.
Put your arms around me, baby.
That poet Mark McGrath.
Yeah, I kind of imagined us having a Peter Pan
moment. Nah, we went sugar ray.
If you have the chance to go sugar ray, you go sugar ray.
I think they're a little less litigious too, so it might be okay.
Yeah, exactly.
You all propel yourselves out the window
and as you do so, you hear the door crash
open behind you and undead
begin pouring up and reaching out.
You almost grab your foot as you leap
through the air and
are immediately met
by this wave of rocks that
shoot up from the ground in front of you.
There's a screaming rush of wind as you
are knocked
helter-skelter around you.
And we cut back down to Orcus's stronghold.
Where everything is fine.
Everything's A-okay.
Everything under control. Box bursts through the door, lands
in between you. Lipsinki, you're trying to grab Vorunax
and pull him off of the altar.
You see the box enter. Vorunax,
you see the box, you didn't realize, you didn't know what was written on it
at the time.
What do you two do as he looks down at you?
What is this?
Lipsinki, if you must go.
Gather with the rest. Leave me if you need to.
Orcus picks up the box and goes to
throw it on the ground and at that moment
it disappears and reappears
at Lipsinki's feet.
What have you done?
Oh, is things not working out the way you thought they would?
You don't have your little toy?
I told you you couldn't do anything without him.
And now you're gonna see. And I give it to Vorunax.
And hope he does something amazing.
Because...
You get one.
Yes, I leap forward into the air.
Reeling with the wand of Orcus.
Going to hit the white, glowing
skull trying to smash it
as best I can. And I got a 30
on my first attack and a 19 on my second.
Both going for that skull.
Yes, both going for that skull.
Both will hit.
Cool beans. So for the first attack
that's gonna be 13 bludgeoning damage
and 22 necrotic damage.
For my second attack, I'm gonna burn a spell slot
to use Divine Smite.
Oh, let's go ahead and just burn
a fifth level spell slot
to do an extra 5d8
damage on top of that first one.
So add 26
to that first attack.
And that's radiant damage.
The damage for the second one is 24.
11 bludgeoning, 13 necrotic.
So massive hit on the first one.
Pretty solid hit on the second one.
And if it doesn't break, I'm willing to burn another spell slot
to do my Divine Strike again.
With that, you leap forward and
the wand of Orcus carves through
and shatters the first skull
with his hand in this white light.
It explodes into the room
and you, without
pausing,
take a swing for another one.
Black. It'll take out the extremes.
And then you just breathe so deeply.
Oh yeah, soaking it all in.
You feel both of these auras
swirling around you.
Lipsynche, you see these coalescing
in this almost yin-yang imagery
around Vorunax
as he...
Like Dragon Ball Z,
superhero pose,
one arm because he had his other one,
gruesomely torn off,
like art back arch screaming up into the sky.
As these lights
are absorbing into him.
I'm gonna cast Banishment on both of us.
Which is going to send us
to another plane of existence.
Cool. You beautiful.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Gotta do what you gotta do. Get out of there.
If the target is native to a different plane of existence
than the one you're on, the target is banished with a faint popping noise
returning to its home plane.
Live in a material world
and I am a material girl.
Oh my god, not back in front of Orcus at the beach, are you?
If the spell ends before one minute
has passed, the target reappears in the space it left.
Otherwise, the target doesn't return.
So if I can
maintain my concentration for one minute
wherever we end up on the material plane,
then we stay on the material plane.
So if nothing fucks with you when you land,
you can basically choose to stay there.
So if you don't land in a giant, like, magma pool.
Shark pit, or something.
With lasers on your head.
We've now split the party.
So split it. We were already a little split.
Now it's like the most split.
Boom, boom, skulls, huge pose.
Banishment goes on both of you.
There's this pop and these lights get pulled into that pop
and it explodes like this shockwave out
that blasts Orcus on his ass.
He slides back and hits the wall
and we leave that scene and he's
slamming his fist into the ground
as he's standing up.
He goes and scrambles back to the box
and is looking around like just frantically
not finding the wand and calling for it and is not coming.
And he head first barrels
through what's left of the door
and there's these echoing footsteps that echo
around this long corridor hallway.
And you move back out
and up and there's this whirlwind
of rocks and at that moment
you see like the ground begin to
heave in certain spots beneath you.
Around you, rocks swirling.
Two of you are flying, two of you are on owl back.
You see archers down on the ground
looking up and taking aim and
loosing arrows towards you.
Nighthunter, what do you do?
They have literally no control over the whole flying aspect.
They're on an owl.
So I think with
her cool new sickle
I think Nighthunter is going to like
yeehaw swing it around her head
and try to like slice
rocks that are you know
kind of pouring down upon her and Thea.
And guacamole. Nighthunter is going to
use survival I think, right?
She's trying to make it through.
Roll to survive. Gotta beat a 15.
Oh my god. It's a 16 plus 6.
22. That's a success.
Guys, I'm killing it with my rolls today.
At the end of your sickle is a
beam of moonlight.
That carves through the air
through the blackness around you
and illuminates for miles.
Oh that's cool yes. That's pretty sweet.
Bort, you're up next.
So he kind of sees like where he wants to go.
And makes a
30 foot line that's 5 feet wide of
lightning breath that's coming out
so that hopefully he can like have a little easier time maneuvering.
Ok so hopefully carving a path
down towards the crypts, right? Yes.
Moonbeam carving through the sky.
You clear this 30 foot line
which gets you mostly to the ground but at least clears the
blocks. They all, the ones that it hits immediately
get shocked and fall to the ground. The other ones scatter
around you which gives your group a path down towards the
crypts. There are soldiers
down on the ground before you. It's
Thea's turn. Thea is going
to take evasive
maneuvers and
use animal handling to
guide guacamole through
vrocks and dodging arrows.
Oh no.
Oh it's a plus 10, 18.
It's over guys.
My streak is over. It was, it was good.
Taking this new path you maneuver
yours and Nighthunters way down grants us some
Bort flying around you and behind you.
You get down to the soldiers
which there's this door leading into one of these
crypts and Grancis says right through there and
he releases down
onto the ground this wave, this prismatic
wave that
maybe he succeeds. Oh.
Grancis come on baby.
I'm going to use religion for his
religious beliefs obviously
and how they can exist
even in the darkest of places which he learned while
down in the abyssal fortress
where he's going back right now.
But what beats death and darkness?
Hope. Hope, yes you're right.
He lets it out which
clears the soldiers in front of you but as you get to the
door and you're getting off the
guacamole and getting in as quick as possible
all of you are struck in the back
by a volley of arrows from the archers.
You're all going to take 12 piercing
damage as you make it into this crypt.
Your footsteps echo out, his blood
is dripping behind you.
It's dark in there. There's these purple lanterns
lit all the way down this long dark hallway.
You quickly slam this
large bone and iron door shut behind
you.
This is just a little further. How much space
is in here?
I just want to know if guacamole has followed us in.
Yeah, guacamole has made it in.
So yeah, big doors closed, like there's not a lot of
room to fly and you're entering like crypts and tunnels.
So guacamole is walking. Yeah, at this point walking
until you choose to disperse them.
Your footsteps echo down this corridor
and you hear
off into the left
you hear this moan come from somewhere
and you hear this cracking of bone
off into the side and then brings you
to these stairs which go down this
deep dark stairwell and at the bottom
you see this one single
light.
And we cut to a location on the material plane.
Where do we cut to, friends?
Where? I don't know, it's a big wide world.
I'm going to say, I mean, banishment
it sends you to basically a random place within the wide
world. But because you are choosing to send the two
of you to hopefully safety, I'm going to
give you some level of control on where it goes.
So Lipsinki, where is safe
on the material plane
for Lipsinki?
So they appear in a forest.
And it just
kind of seems like a normal forest.
Quite, quite lush. It's really quiet
especially after where they have been with all the
screaming souls and wretched dead
surrounding them. It's calm
and peaceful and, you know, bees are buzzing
and birds are singing.
And they're in a little bit of a
clearing. And I think when
they land, Lipsinki kind of just
falls to her knees.
I never thought I would see this place again.
I'm home.
This is, this is your,
this is your home?
Yeah, I think you might like it here.
I don't think this is anything you showed
the other Voronok's, is it?
No, I had never told anybody about this place.
Well, thank you
for sharing it with me.
This might be the best place to say
I'm sorry for what
he did to you.
And what it's put you through.
I know nothing can be done
for you as far as gaining that back.
But
learning what I learned, I know how much
he cared about you.
And if I can spend what life I have to make it up,
then I'm going to.
Uh, buddy, we're all good. We gotta, uh,
maybe let's go get some help and then I guess figure out
how we get back down there.
It sounds good. I sheath the wand and I take my hand
and I just slap it over the place where my arm's missing
and then I use my hearing smite just to kind of burn it in
and help cauterize some things.
You move your hand to the wound
and you see that it has healed.
Your arm is not back, but the wound is
not bleeding.
And you feel this
energy welling up inside of you.
Lipsynche, you're a few
cases ahead at this point. Vorunax is kind of slowed
and you hear like a body fall.
You turn and you look and Vorunax
is face down in the dirt.
And I run, run back. Vorunax, what's wrong?
What's wrong?
Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 2
Episode 148 starring Amy More as
Thea and Nighthunter, Carla Maxted as Lipsynche,
Tom Laird as Flint, with Kyle Claset as Vorunax,
Peter Joseph Lewis as Orcus, and Russ More
as your dungeon master. Dialogue editing by
Carla Maxted and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Artlist
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library
and Sound Ideas. And a huge thank you to our supporting producers.
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame,
Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
Perry Matey, Angeron Kiersen, L.A. Branton,
Nathaniel Teeter, Destiny Garcia, and Old School
Gamer D. Join us today at Patreon.com
slash dumbdragoncast. Now's as good a time to join
as any because we have hundreds of hours of bonus content
and we do live shows every quarter.
The next one coming up this June.
Be there, or as Amy says, be square.
That's it for now. Have a great week.
We'll talk to you soon.
Drums in the background.
It's Jumanji.
Shouldn't have rolled that dice to start.
Actually, you know what? You could say that about a lot of things
in this exact situation.
Also, Kyle, next time he's all like,
what hand is your ring on? Be like,
Turn the tables. Look at me. I'm the DM.
That's right. I'm not going to fucking tell you.
All of the DMs commences.
You got three consistent DMs in here. Who's going to win?
I mean, not me. I'll just let you guys do whatever you want.
Okay.
What's the song?
Chicago soundtrack stuck in my head.
Okay, I'll do the bass.
No, that's not Chicago.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
Amy's face was like,
disgusted.
Not even confused.
Just like, what?
What the hell is that?
You do you, and this will be our blooper for the episode.
Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.